On Sunday morning, the day after my arrival, I shuffle step by step in the quiet darkness from the guesthouse to the entrance of the monastery to be present at the 6:00 a.m. morning prayer. The monastery is built like a huge fortress against the mountain, and I make my way to a tiny opening that is supposed to provide access. Inside, I hear the call to prayer on the semantron, the rhythmic pounding of a hammer on a "wooden plank" by one of the monks. I knock on the door in turn. The doorkeeper pokes his head around the corner in surprise. No no, no entry. A stranger may not pray with me now. Maybe in the afternoon at four o'clock at vespers.

Sunday morning gives me time to reflect on the reason for my presence. I wanted to travel from the youngest monastery to the oldest monastery in the world. I have used these words several times with a wink as the reason for this trip; they have nestled in my mind. But now that I am here and not so out on easy access to the monastery and its celebrations, I wonder what I really wanted. What is the reason behind the desire to be here?

In any case, I am not here to necessarily have to see the holy places with my own eyes. Even though it is impressive to linger near the mountain, the well and the 'bush' of Moses. No, it has more to do with the fact that I want to show respect to this community that has been here for so long and guards the holy places. We at Nijkleaster are very aware that we are far from being the first and are just around the corner in the monastic world. A pilgrimage to its origins feels almost like a spiritual task to me. Just as I, and many in our monastic community with me, have previously visited various Roman Catholic monasteries and new monastic initiatives such as Taizé in France, Iona in Scotland and Holden Village in the US.

Nor am I here to magnify the differences between the Eastern Orthodox monastic tradition and ours. Even if there is a wide gap, that would be all too easy. What I do realize, now that I am here even more than usual, is how much of an eccentric phenomenon we are in the monastic world with our Protestant background, our views on male-female and lhbtqia+ issues, our critical attitude toward "scripture and tradition," and our commitment to social justice and sustainability. But I don't want to magnify that now. I don't come here to bring my opinions; no one is asking for them. Rather, I come seeking what unites us. Or perhaps even better, I have come to look for what connects ón us to this ancient desert tradition. Who knows, maybe in the days that I am here I will come to clarity.